God is faithful. I am chosen. So I can live confidently.
One of the most important truths we can teach our girls is that their worth does not depend on who chooses them.
There are so many moments in a young girl’s life when she wonders if someone will choose her. Will I make the team? Will I get invited? Will they want me in their group? Will the coach put me in? Am I good enough to belong here?
And sometimes, she won’t be chosen.
She may not make the team. She may not get invited. A friend may choose someone else. She may sit on the bench while another girl gets to play. She may walk into a room and feel like everyone else belongs there except her.
Those moments hurt. And while we would love to protect our girls from ever experiencing rejection, we can give them something much more valuable: a truth that remains steady even when they aren’t chosen by the people around them.
1 Peter 2:9 tells us, “You are a chosen people.”
Before a coach chooses a starting lineup, before a friend decides who to invite, before classmates decide who fits in, God has already chosen her.
Not the better, more talented, more popular, more confident version of her. Not the girl who never makes mistakes.
Her. Right now.
There is so much freedom in teaching our girls this because so much of growing up can begin to feel like an audition. Be good enough. Be pretty enough. Be athletic enough. Be funny enough. Make the team. Get the invitation. Earn the position. Find enough evidence around you to prove that you belong.
But our girls don’t have to audition for a place with God.
They already belong.
And the beautiful thing about being chosen by God is that the One who chose them is faithful.
Deuteronomy 7:9 tells us that God is faithful. People change. Friendships change. Teams change. Circumstances change. A girl can feel completely included one day and left out the next. She can be a starter one season and sit on the bench the next. A friendship she thought would last forever can change. Something she desperately wanted may not work out the way she hoped.
But God doesn’t change.
His love for her doesn’t change when she messes up. She doesn’t become more valuable when she succeeds or less valuable when she fails. Her identity doesn’t have to rise and fall with every accomplishment, mistake, invitation, friendship, compliment, or disappointment.
And when a girl begins to understand that the God who chose her is faithful, that’s where real confidence begins.
Hebrews 10:35 tells us, “Do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord.”
Confidence isn’t thinking you’re better than everyone else. And it doesn’t mean never feeling nervous, awkward, afraid, or insecure.
Confidence is knowing where your worth comes from and trusting the One who gave it to you.
When our girls know who God is, they can begin to understand who they are. They can walk into difficult situations knowing, I am chosen. I am loved. I belong to God. I was created on purpose. I don’t have to prove my worth.
And then we teach them to live like they believe it.
On the volleyball court, that can look like being willing to make a mistake. Calling for the ball LOUD. Serving aggressively. Trying something new. Shanking a pass and still wanting the next one.
Off the court, it can look like raising her hand even when she isn’t completely sure of the answer. Walking into a room where she doesn’t know anyone. Trying out for something even though she might not make it. Standing up for what’s right when everyone else is going in another direction.
Don’t let fear of what other people think keep you from becoming who God created you to be.
And as our girls grow in this kind of confidence, something else happens: they become free to help other girls grow too.
When a girl doesn’t need someone else’s failure to prove her own worth, she can celebrate another girl’s success. When she knows she belongs, she can make room for someone else. She can cheer people on. Include someone. Notice the girl standing alone. Celebrate a teammate’s success without wondering what it means about her own.
A girl whose identity is secure doesn’t have to make someone else feel smaller in order to feel bigger.
There will always be people whose approval our girls want. There will always be another team to make, another invitation they hope to receive, another position they want, and another person they are tempted to compare themselves to.
That’s why we keep pointing them back to God.
When the world says, “Prove yourself,” remember: God says, “You are Mine.”
When comparison says, “She’s better than you,” remember: God didn’t create you to be her.
When rejection says, “You’re not wanted,” remember: You are chosen.
When insecurity says, “You can’t do this,” remember: Your confidence isn’t in being perfect. It’s in a God who is faithful.
Our goal isn’t to raise girls who never experience insecurity. It’s to raise girls who know where to go when insecurity gets loud.
Back to God. Back to His Word. Back to the truth of who He is and who He says they are.
This Week’s Challenge
This week, challenge the girls to identify one thing they would do differently if they weren’t worried about failing or what other people might think.
Maybe she calls for the ball louder. Maybe she tries something new. Maybe she talks to someone she doesn’t normally talk to. Maybe she stops comparing herself to another girl. Maybe she celebrates the teammate she has secretly been competing with.
Whatever it is, encourage her to practice living from a place of knowing she is already chosen.
She doesn’t need everyone to choose her.
She doesn’t need everyone to approve of her.
She doesn’t need to prove that she belongs.
She already belongs to God.
Who God Is → Who I Am → How I Live
God is FAITHFUL. — Deuteronomy 7:9
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I am CHOSEN. — 1 Peter 2:9
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I can live CONFIDENTLY. — Hebrews 10:35
We aren’t simply telling our girls to be more confident. We are giving them a reason for their confidence.
Who God is teaches me who I am. And knowing who I am changes how I live.
God is faithful, so I know I can trust Him. He says I am chosen, so my worth doesn’t depend on whether the people around me choose me. And because I know where my identity and worth come from, I am free to live confidently.
You don’t need everyone to choose you. You don’t need everyone to approve of you. You don’t need to prove that you belong.
Know who God is. Know whose you are. And live confidently because of it.
Take It Further: Make God’s Truth Louder
Knowing these truths is one thing. Learning to come back to them when insecurity, comparison, fear, or rejection gets loud is another.
That’s why I created the Make God’s Truth Louder Christian Identity Activity.
The girls use simple Scripture-based reminders to surround themselves with truths about who God is and who He says they are:
God is faithful.
I am chosen.
I am loved.
I am known.
I am seen.
I am forgiven.
I am God’s masterpiece.
I am confident.
I am courageous.
I am strong.
The goal is simple: put God’s truth somewhere they will see it again and again—on a mirror, locker, notebook, bedroom wall, Bible, or anywhere else they need the reminder.
Because when insecurity gets loud, we want our girls to know how to make God’s truth louder.
👉 [Try the Make God’s Truth Louder Christian Identity Activity]
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